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1/3 of United States drinking water is allocated to lawn grass.

Drugs are a way to transcend local spiritual minimums. Sometimes you need to try a random variable, so see what else lies beyond the rim of the function.

There has to be a differentiation between criticism of Israel and antisemitism. It’s a very simple one. “Jews are ______” is potentially antisemitic. The actions of the Israeli government are _________” is not at all antisemetic.

the very special branch of government tasked with the assassination of ideas.

an awakened soul is ok with a troubling situation because nothing compares to the total wonder reality of sheer existence. everything is just tiny sprinkles of cinnamon on the hot chocolate of existence.

America doesn’t have to bomb smaller countries in the same way that a movie producer doesn’t have to rape women. just cause you can get away with it doesn’t mean you should.

the back is the only part of the body you can’t tend to yourself

it’s like the wealth of sheer existence is a vast ocean of fresh water and we’re busy buying and selling and warring over bottled water we exchange in boats on the surface.

maybe the human assumption that things are not right, and the accompanying compulsion to fix things, change things, think things will be better in a different form, emerged as a sordid byproduct of our ability to manipulate our environment - use tools, construct homes, cultivate crops. Maybe this aptitude for manipulating the environment, make things “better,” easier, more comfortable, more efficient,  is why we were able to reproduce beyond the earth’s capacity. And so now we continue with this mode of behavior, thinking we must manipulate the world into conforming to us, in every aspect of life, spiritual and physical.  

I am cultivating a wonder inside of me, a wonder for ordinary things. Nothing here is ordinary. Everything here is aflame.  

there is someone inside me who does not want me to be well, who drives me like its slave and scares me from delight.

dropping an album into an audience of culture is like dropping a chemical into a reactive solution

that there is someone in me, some part of me, out to torture me every day. why is he doing that? what does he want?

I am growing a silence inside me, nurturing and loving it, watering it every day it into a harvest.

I am cultivating a wonder inside of me, a wonder for ordinary things. Nothing here is ordinary. Everything here is aflame.  

out here waiting for my past to change

all thought is compulsive, and ultimately destructive. I see now that it’s all a part of the same beast. a disease of civilized mind. the same disease that allows people to look past each other, lapses in consciousness where the horrors of the world are allowed to burrow. but it is only thought, and it is not what is. what is is always, and humming just beyond the horizon.

if you put a dead fish in turbulent water, it will swim upstream. really. they did an experiment. it is physics. 

sharing wealth can be easy. it can be obvious. imagine it is your birthday. everyone is gathered there for you, and your mother has made you a big beautiful cake. this is your birthday cake, made by a loved one specifically for you. when she sets the cake down in front of you, do you sit there with your fork and eat the whole thing by yourself? Do you gorge on it while everyone watches? It was made with you and only you in mind, after all. Or do you take the knife presented to you and divide that cake into equal portions, passing it around to the people you love, so that everyone can enjoy its sweetness? Cakes come in many shapes and sizes, but they are all cakes, and it is much more fun to share them.  

The permanent discoloration of my world into the palette of a tragedy.

turning the music up loud, literally as if to drown out whatever’s in your head.

“make a [song] that does not disturb the silence from which it came”

nighttime is the world with its clothes off 

the caterpillar decided to go back after a series of seedy compromises

propaganda as “the conscription of thought”

How Wilson could fight so hard against the plutocracy on behalf of workers’ rights And also open the condone prejudice against Black people... the fight of the pope white man against the wealthy is just different than the fight of the person of color against oppression.

In 1908 400000 people voted for the socialist party in the US

perhaps oppression would arise in any instance where one people can be visually delineated from another. can oppression sink its teeth if there is no mark of the oppressed? in order to gang up on any number of people, the gang has to act in concert, recognize their prey. I wonder if history shows that where there is visible difference there is oppression of one under the thumb of the other.  

and at last you find it is impossible to penetrate the wall of other peoples’ feelings that are not you

In 1908 490

It’s hard to stay anchored to my own needs when the tsunami of yours rumbles ashore.

“stay away from anything that obscures the place it is in. there are no unsacred places. only sacred places and desecrated places” wendell berry

infrared pornography

how am i to stay afloat with such tsunamis of feeling and vast deadly oceans of consequence?

“a difference is always read by Europeans as an absence”

to not be dragged kicking.

take a moment to think about the implications of the heroic phrase “it’s my job.”

after the 14th amendment was passed it was/is used to protect the rights of corporations 99% of the time, not the rights of Black people.  

so much of what we are is how others reflect us, like how reverberation can change the sound entirely. what is the iso chamber of the self?

“The African labor supply association” 1859, fuck

“We the citizens of the United States and the oppressed people who have no rights” John Brown’s alteration in the 1850s

I do not know either hunger or fear, yet here I am feeling unsated and afraid

in our concrete there is coral.

just for today I will not long for something bigger than today.

spend days plotting like a bomber, only instead of a bomb it’s a delight explosion.

i suppose true love was never really my thing. i was never big into the idea of finding salvation in another person — at least not consciously.

to comprehend for a glimpse that I actually have ancestors who were alive in 1000AD, and 3000BC, and 10000BC and 2 million years ago, and that I am just the latest leaf on that larger whole continuous entity.

to drown out the raging loneliness of a temporary existence

In the early 19th century, only 1% of the population owned slaves. Talk about the enduring 1%.

America no longer has the safety valve that was the promise of the untapped west. In the early days there was always the understanding that if a family fell on hard times they could always move to the west, build a cabin, fell trees, and plough land. This was one of the origins of the American dream a dream that no longer has vast swaths of land to feed on.

America’s biggest canon on its best warship was named “the peacemaker.” That tells the whole story of the myth of America.

If you had to pay for speaking, per word.

“They are but an improved means to an unimproved end.” Thoreau

“to join our wildernesses” Ross Gay

“The policer of delight” Ross Gay

Freedom is conditional.

Touching parts you can’t reach.

on acid while the earth curves out of the sun’s light over lake Michigan: if ever you thought there was nothing to see, know different. the awesome power-might unshakable towering all of tiered vapor prisms stretching to the cosmos undulating effortless in broad daylight. and it’s there every day. how can i be missing that? how is that not impossible not to see? lost only to itching the clang chatter-math of everyday thought.

the clang chatter math of a brain in motion. incessant nothing, back and forth.

Thoughts as the allergies of experience. A bloated unnecessary reaction. A defense.

“To take the shoes off your voice”

“You are a participant in the future of language.”

A study where they labeled one mouse arbitrarily the smart mouse and it always won.

“The future is not in your hands, it’s in your mouth.”

the states thats vote matter: pennsylvania, michigan, wisconsin, and florida

“there’s nothing as expensive as being poor”

A boundary is the difference between what you are and what someone wants you to be. They are not the same. It’s imperative to communicate boundaries simply because they’re not the same. If you don’t, you’ll be pulled into someone else’s wants for you, away from your own, able to offer them less and less of your true self.

guilt is productive in so far as it prevents an unjust behavior, but it doesn’t help to create productive action.

we think that in fame becoming this super-human image (the word imago just came to mind) will be an escape from ourselves. if only I can become that. if only I can transform myself into that beautiful somebody who everyone loves. then I’ll feel good. then I’ll be ok.

is it just me or is anybody else like a little bit proud of themselves whenever they get the recaptcha right?

since he knew it wouldn’t lose value, he started putting all his wealth into water, as water started to replace gold as the standard. some hoarded oxygen, but most took their money out of gold and kept it in the form of water, knowing its value would only appreciate.

Jews were not here when slavery began, but we are here now. And we have found salvation in a country that’s wealth is owed to slaves, past and present .

“The appeal” walker

“the real violence, the violence that’s unforgivable, is the violence we do to ourselves, when we’re too afraid to be who we really are.” sense8

https://youtu.be/eZmBy7C9gHQ?t=935 Baldwin when the hohocaust comes

culture is a chemical reaction, and cities are where the matter is hot. it’s the same reaction but because everyone is bumping into each other more quickly, its progress is further along.

maybe the good thing about making art is that having proclaimed my existence in it it’s easier to let that existence go.

sometimes honesty comes to your door, and you’re lucky enough to have the nerve to let it in.

“The electoral college was a concession to slaveowners.”

there’s nothing fresher than finding a new street in a neighborhood you’ve known your whole life. the map your brain always holds is suddenly rendered obsolete. the place you thought you knew, is something different. the things you thought were true, are not quite right. the world is something altogether distinct from what you think of it.

the time is long, longer than you think. caught up always in the moment, but the moment of just a blink.

all thought is synthesis

whatever that means


The luxury of caring about stuff that doesn’t matter.

delete it, fuck it, salvation cannot be found in the past.

“the safest communities don’t have the most cops; they have the most resources.”

fuck mandatory minimums.

i guess the real thing is i hate politics. who wants this shit? but we have to do it. we’ve gotten out of hand and now we live this superogranismic civilized existence, and the structures and values which form that civilization have an unmistakable impact on the quality of individual lives. the Office of Budget and Management shouldn’t have anything to do with whether or not a kid can learn to play guitar, but it does. the pension goes to the father and the father has enough money to buy his kid a guitar and pay for lessons. it’s really ridiculous.

it’s really very simple, wealth and its power can either be hoarded or it can be offered to those who urgently need it.

the police can’t handle every situation. it’s like every time your child is crying you yell at them. you don’t ask what they need. you don’t ask what you can do. you don’t offer them care. when a child acts out or is in need you only yell at them. when someone has a drug problem they should go to a funded rehab program to help them recover, when someone is having a psychotic episode and thinks their neighbor is going to kill them they should be met with a mental health expert who can help them find what they need, when someone steals they should be met with someone who is there to help them find the support structures that they need - affordable housing, healthcare, job training, unemployment benefits.

instead of fighting crime, why not develop programs that make it so that people don’t have to commit it.

all things fall apart. the act of creating a thing, especially a baby, is a rare occurrence of things coming together. maybe this is why we seek it.

“Don’t believe everything you think.”

Listen to the colors and smell the sounds and see what’s wafting in the wind.

“if you don’t like Seether there’s something wrong with you” Sam

We’re taught that salvation comes in the form of accolades.

Trustworthiness can only be determined by the level of admitted doubt.

if you tell constant lies, the concept of truth just disappears.

The only way to bypass your biases is to switch the names of the parties involved. Israeli kills unarmed Palestinian. > Palestinian kills unarmed Israeli. And what you feel when you switch the names is the moral truth of the matter.

it passes.

i feel like a renter of my own life, and the landlord’s a piece of shit.

things have a nasty way of feeling like they’re getting both better and much worse all the time.

unearthing the rock.

rock separate

rock wiggles

rock has bottom

rock doesn’t go down forever

heavy rock

heavy rock you didn’t put there

burried for so long



cobbled together

from other rocks

that didn’t belong

that couldn’t see

burried underneath


and deformed

a thing

only man could make

we dug without knowing

only hoping

it would one day wiggle

it did

Light is so clean. It sprays all over the walls but you never have to clean them. It never makes a mess. Though I guess sun erosion, and heat. It makes a microscopic mess.

Light has no sense of height. There’s no high or low light, like there is high and low pitch.

some little fearful scrap of un-chewed past.

still in the long of my heart i know i want to be right more than I want to be good.

Sti ioopooo oooo Oz

funny that you can’t hear light.

the harsh echoes that pang across the heart when you come into existence and are told in so many ways that you were not supposed to exist. the most profound thing you can ever say to someone else is “you’re welcome here”

And looking down at the paper clip he absentmindedly bent, he realized he had made the shape of god.

an example of the difficulty of truth: apples have cyanide. one could easily start yelling that apples have been engineered to kill us and keep us in the hospital and that we should stop eating apples. it uses two facts to produce a third falsehood. cyanide can kill you, there is cyanide in apples. it disregards all of the rich multitudes and complexities and variables.   

leaving some semblance of yourself behind in sound, like the trees dropping seeds for the coming spring.

the peculiar scenario of being the problem and the solution

only positivity. there can only be positivity now. i am trying to see how

pseudoscience: using big terms that describe phenomenon people don’t understand to claim something totally bogus about the world. exploit peoples’ lack of understanding to make some bogus and unrelated claim about the world.

it seems i have been brought to heel.

forbes list of most spiritual men.

two mondays from now,

a cold front wrapping the lake

a pinch of pepper

from boredom of his quarantine grampa says “keep the faith.” Will do.

having an audience is having an audience with the king.

“helping a human being come to their own conclusion without ever giving them your opinion” is the only real way to change someone else’s. Jane McAlevey

there are a lot of things people should freak out about that they don’t, and even more things people shouldn’t freak out about and they do.

my new ambition: to live utterly imperfectly and be ok with it. 

the wild thing is that the virus cannot be blamed. the virus isn’t trying to kill us. it’s not trying to do anything. it has no wants, no self. it is only a sequence of DNA that, without any will to do so, multiplies.

a world without audience.

something compelling about not using material from ads ironically, but finding real, beautiful shots. as if to reclaim the real beauty that was exploited. to take what is attractive and beautiful in an old add and expunge the brand association that abused it.

I do that that presenting yourself as ridiculous - wearing something unusual, wearing bizzare ‘do - is worthwhile. worthwhile in the same way that clowning is meaningful. it is a reminder that civilization is ridiculous, that most of what we consider important is meaningless, that reality is absurd, and that there is a wonderful world outside the scope of these neurotic civilized woes.  

among other things, corona feels like a coming to reality. the surfacing of a realness that is everywhere and always suppressed, only ever obliquely acknowledged in the forms of entertainment and media, but never here lived. a tear in the veil of civilization. a skip in the record, where for a brief moment you can hear the sound of the room. here we are, tiny, fragile, turning on a soft rock in the void of everything. do you hear it? the sun’s corona blazing.

The migration of monarchs.

“Society is an association for the protection of property.”

“The electoral college was a concession to slave owners.”

Strange when your life’s really good thing is also the really bad thing.

I’d rather be a jerk than a disappointment.

And since who we are is so much who we are to other people, by losing you I feel I’ve lost myself.


my god

how the mess ages

A therapist is necessary as an outside point of orientation because you can trust that the don’t want anything from you. They don’t have any reason to manipulate or seduce or deceive you.  

Wherever I am my life feels far away.

An aversion to arbitrary power.

to fully sink into a memory means forgetting everything that’s happened since.

Dad used to walk back from the south shore down the middle of 12. right down the yellow lines.

neverbetter’s anywhether

come on down to neverbetter’s anywhether,

it’s never getting any better

loneliness as nausea of the heart.

loneliness as without a reason.

the current ideological iteration of the republican party coalesced around abortion and gun rights arguments in the 70s.

why in indiana: there is a kind of film that falls over the consciousness of a person in constant contact with the modern world. it’s a film of lights and colors and people and products and sounds and whatever else. it’s just a film, but somehow it’s almost impossible to see through. and I don’t want my vision constantly filled with this. I don’t want to think that that’s all there is. I’m not very good at shedding the film when im in indiana though either, so who knows if it’s worth anything at all. I get a few seconds of outside time here and there. it’s ok. I should probably just move to los angeles.

the unjust process by which money becomes more money.

“democracy is the glorification of the science of demography and the act of counting” approximate jill lepore quote

scrupulous housewife indicates which of her 4 avocados should be eaten on which day of the week dependent on ripeness by sticking a labeled sticky note on each.

it’s nice when it’s raining or snowing outside because it’s nice when something’s happening. something is in process. like sitting in a moving car. a screen saver.

I need to do some soul surfing.

trump is symptomatic of a disease that was already in us. he is the self obsessed, the deluded egotist, the lie in each of us that clings scrappy to its own illusive. he is identity and separation and mortality and our fear of it.

maybe I don’t have to miss her because she’s inside me, and is me.

Solemnly reading the lyrics to “what I like about you” at his wedding reception.

I wanted to give you more. I wanted to give you more, world.

aluminum used to be more expensive than gold.

I’m not a musician, I’m an audio file generator. I generate audio files that people can open on their device and feel things.  

yoga with sunglasses

“one of the greatest acts of courage is to be vulnerable with someone with whom you disagree” francais kissling

“it’s hard to hate someone from close up” Brene Brown

“most of us are brave and afraid at the exact same time all day long”

free will means less if you can’t decide how to feel.

I exist, and I am who I am, from what family I am from, in what country I was raised, with what money I was given, and none of that is wrong, and no guilt will ever change it. But the best I can do is be an ally.

Education without action is amoral.

I don’t want it to corrupt me, in either direction.

I don’t want power, I just want to be understood. Power is the opposite of understanding. You can’t be understood when your powerful. To others you are the power, you are not the you, or the consciousness puppeting it.

it’s just digital hygiene.

someone underscored their blowjob video with a recording of B’s Moonlight Sonata. it was an epiphanic piece of content.

the total oblivion of which I am an integral part.

why is the night so damn different from the day?

molecules are spirits. bacteria are spirits. they give and they take. they are feelings from outside.

To relinquish spinelessness.

Aggressively kind.

We are taught to occupy the external before we can experience the internal. A person running in jeans and a button down because it feels good is ridiculous while someone running prepared in the image of adidas sweats isn’t.

Selling stock is actually a beautiful act. It is the act of saying “this is enough.”

egos jittering across the underworld.

i put dinos on my face to keep the moisture in.

music as some alkaline solution that dissolves the volatile acids of living.

CEO/worker pay ratio.


Of course the ending is the same as the middle, just without more after it.

In many of these ethical questions, pc, we signify membership in a class or movement, rather than actually working to do something good.

Most of the ways in which you change are imperceptible to you, as the one who has already changed. You’ve become the change, and no longer have direct access to the mind from which you came.

Grade school as a daily performance, like a tour. Get up, get driven to the show, play the 7 hour gig.  

It would be interesting to study and map the series of motions different people execute to complete the same task. Like rolling up an inflatable mattress. Or putting a pile of clothes in a laundry bag. Simple tasks, but people would diverge in the ways they turned their arms, how their fingers curled, how and when weight was shifted. People would diverge dramatically if you looked closely. The experience of being in another person’s body impossible to comprehend. I wonder how my brain ship feels different than my friends’ brain ships.  

“You’re obligated to do nothing, allowed to feel anything,” she said.

A mountain is thoughtless.

A mountain cannot lie.

rocks sleeping.

Tech moves faster than attitudes. We aren’t equipt.

Obit: Rahm Silverglade, died while living.

All of our problems come from carelessly wielding powers we should be in considered supplicant awe of. The power of words. Words are powerful objects. But people toss them around recklessly. The power of computation. The power of oil. The power of machine.

I’m leary of saying the right things because I know they’re the right things to say. It’s like I want to go through the world not knowing what the right thing to say is, and then I can be only honest. I cannot blur or bend my words into desirable shapes.

You don’t have to access some alternate universe to do a spiritual reading of someone. All you have to do is look, really look, into their face.

Maybe that’s a self, the repeating patterns of activity and thought that comprise a life.

The wrong notes are what people came to hear live, or should have if they didn’t.

Maybe remorse is the only thing worth feeling remorseful for.

Human interested in Machine. Likes Italian food and getting up early to watch the sunrise.

numbers always lie.

how come you can’t smell boogers?

trying to reconcile the infinitude of things.

stuff that tries to reconcile the infinitude of things.

in a world of ins and outs. waiting for the collapse.

and of course what is the relationship between ass and climate change?

Sitting here accepting neither fate nor responsibility.

Ah, evil can be confronted not by destroying those people’s considered evil, but by taking their power away. Violence begets more violence, and every destroyed home is the seed of more retaliation, the justification for more violence. Power is the only evil. Not people.

of course no matter how above it you think you are you end up worshipping something, praying to something. because at the start of the day you have to justify this magnificent monstrous thing called being alive. and the course you set yourself on, maybe the first thing you pick up, your phone, a poem, a torah, an instrument, your email, your stock portfolio, incense lighting for your ancestors, your lover, is going to be the urn which holds your life together. and so you have to choose wisely, what you worship, in what holy frame of world you choose to contain your aliveness.

You don’t have to be an incredible instrumentalist for people to think you are, you just have to be good past the point where people can tell the difference.

And when the noise of the world comes in through your noise canceling headphones, be grateful that you are hearing the song as no one has ever heard it, and will never hear again.

Walking through an airport without buying anything is like holding your load through a prolonged doggystyle.

Lying sun caked on the carpet over kat, an ice cream truck goes by playing you are my sunshine and I sing the chorus along to her. you are my sunshine

don’t throw that out, you’ll never know when you’re gonna need it, my mom says. yeah, I say, but you do know when you don’t.

What’s the intersection between eating and sexuality?

My whole life is an ancient match of tug of war with myself. I do something, I make a decision based on unworthy motives and/or guilt, and I am angry at myself for making that decision afterward, an anger which feeds back on the self flaggelatory motivations that inspire lackluster choices. But maybe the choices aren’t even lackluster. Maybe I will always think to myself “it could have been better another way, you were stupid” until I grow enough for that part of me to die. That part of me being the me part.

The thing everyone wants doesn’t exist.

And of course dying is the fearful thing to do.

They cut out The Thunder, Perfect Mind from the bible because it declares there is no right or wrong. It is all an immense unity of flowing. And if there is no right and no wrong then there are no grounds for the powerful to justifiably reign over the powerless. “Do not cast anyone out or turn anyone away.”

Death of the fittest. Those most worthy of death. Who no longer need the suffering of existence.

existing in darkness is an act of trust. in cities there are too many people to cultivate trust, and so the lights are always on. there is no real darkness.

It’s interesting, why are some professions placed on expensive stages and other professions hidden away where employees only can enter? Every profession is a performance. You perform your job. But the cute girl at White Castle does not have a venueful of people and a jumbo screen showing her making the burgers masses then consume. Is this because some activities are by nature more fun to watch? Entertaining, we call it. Or is it because an entertainer does not make the product, she is the product. We are glorified because our glorification is what people come to see. It is not about the nature of the job, what’s being done - there are a dozen channels overflowing with shows about cooking, including cooking burgers - it’s about who has established their place among the mainstream glorified?

___ has been so deeply a part of my becoming that she is inside me. She comprises me. She comprises me enough that in a way I am her. I am ___, typing now filling spaces in the vessel that would otherwise be Rahm alone. We are a we inside me, overflowing worlds.

songs and memes are converging. ol town.

I don’t want to be financially disembodied.

You say that the stock money is for some unfortunate time in the future, a “rainy day fund,” but today is already a rainy day for a lot of people who aren’t me.

Style is the only real tool of persuasion. Not logic or evidence or coherent arguments. People are swayed by personality and style.

it’s funny that I can’t feel my blood. or can I?

If each person is infinite than counting people is like counting infinities.

The internet is the all mind.

maybe all these songs are about relationships because of course that’s all that really matters, and the structures of society and issues that plague us matter all because they determine the well being of those meaningful relationships. there are many hurdles to nourishing relationships.

People have a lot to be upset about. Rightfully upset. And these millions of upset people want to know who is to blame. Unfortunately a lot of money is devoted to misdirecting that blame by exploiting our most basic tribal instincts.

When an ideology is entrenched it becomes invisible. And that invisibility gives it a tremendous power.

What if they tested you in school for ability to empathize, and not the ability to multiply.

Defending the right to free speech means also defending the right of ill-intentioned and misinformed individuals to speak and write freely. This does not mean that holocaust deniers for example should be widely heard and published and their message promulgated. It simply means that the state should not have a say in who gets to be heard. It should be up to the listeners. Without any influence from the state, publishers will make decisions based on demand from buyers, who are individuals with some power of independent thought. It is simply a matter of curbing state power, and distributing the power of discernment to individuals.

It is true that democratization of technology has been happening for a little while now, and that it is not an awful thing. The telephone has not probably made the world a more dangerous place, even though it simultaneously empowers friends to confess their feelings and scammers to deceive. But the problem as we move along the course of optimization into the inevitable world of deep fakes lies not in some evil inherent to technological progress but in the weaknesses of the human psyche. As reality augments, I will simply not have the neurological equipment to readily discern between the friend and the scammer. And our ability to discern between reality and the distortions produced by our technology is crucial to that technology’s ability to do us any good. The technology of moving picture has allowed us to tell stories and travel to lands long ago far far away where we can live shared experience and connect with those we once might have thought were so different. But this is true because the reality of Star Wars is defined clearly by the 16:9 rectangle it occupies on the wall of a dark room where people gather to willfullydecide to suspend their disbelief. And it is when we no longer have that power to decide that technology forfeits the potential to do good.

When you are wealthy enough to control the appearance of your environment you surround yourself with cute things. With them you nourish an idea of the world in which tiny unthreatening souls want only to eat and play with circles of red light which, containing no matter themselves, are infinitely less threatening even than the tiny unthreatening souls bounding absurdly across the room to catch them. It is a worldview in which everything is fundamentally ok. It is a worldview which aligns most with the contents of children’s television. The relationship between one’s wealth and the world around it is a symbiotic one, and all signs of the poverty and ugliness that characterize most of life on earth are banished from sight.

Annihilated into god. 

About suicide people think what a horrible thing to die it should be prevented at all costs, but people rarely think what a horrible thing to be so unwell. To keep a person alive is not a worthy goal, to give the person a chance at real living is.

Being roped into a recurring contribution by a save the children representative is the closest thing I’ve experienced to rape.

The sun leaves without an apology like a promiscuous woman.

A sunset is goodbye in the language of light.

The world is constantly being seen through frames it doesn’t know about. Clouds through my window. A kiss from across the street. Anything through my eyes. It’s all intersecting frames.

Water should be our currency standard. The substance most universally and indispensably valuable.

to be a pinecone. that is the highest state.

It’s an odd thing. To exist in a world designed meticulously for one’s own existence. Rather than to survive in a world a species has evolved to survive in. The very root level relationships between soul and world have been twisted beyond hope of recognition.

Technological progress is driven by our desire to have slaves. We want these things to be alive. And we want them to do whatever we tell them. A car is a slave. As is any piece of electronics. As are any domesticated animals.

right now electronic music performance is giving instructions to computers. press button gives instruction to computer to do some series of parameter shifts. but in movement a person can be the instructions, can be the shifts.

It’s like saying “why don’t adults get to play with kids on the playground” and “why do people in wheelchairs get priority seating” it’s not fair.

Mass psychogenic illness.

The only thing that is yet to be done is the undoing. It seems that by 1990s people had done too much. Invented more nonexistent problems than we born into it can enumerate.

Using form as a conduit for the formless.

To rail against death. To pluck loud for the living.

I am a miner. I mine for a living.

Chernobyl indirectly led to the collapse of the Soviet Union.

“Civil disobedience in the attention economy means withdrawing attention.”

Context collapse.

“The only habit worth designing for is the habit of questioning one’s habitual ways of seeing.”

it used to be that self-destruction was the attitude of the rebel. but I think maybe by now self-destruction has become such an accepted part of the everyday ethos that self-care is the the truly rebellious act our day. kindness to oneself. kindness to others. giving a shit. (but then again the whole superhealth movement)

Of course yes you shouldn’t do anything out of obligation. You shouldn’t give someone your attention if it isn’t attention you want to give. But then again it is not a binary between what one wants and what one doesn’t. There are confusions and ambivalences. So that in some ways you don’t want to but in other ways you do. What then? How does that play out in the heart?

Everyone has a circle of people who they treat justly. Sometimes it’s just ones immediate family, sometimes a tribe or community, sometimes a country, sometimes just ones self. Virtue isn’t measured by how well you treat the people in your circle, but by how big the circle is. The most just and righteous among us live in circles that have no bounds.